A Bird Named Bob

A Bird Named Bob And His Wooden Egg

Based on a true story . .

Once there was a bird named Bob who wanted a mate
But the female flamingos thought him unfit for a date.   

"He's stupid! He's slow! His feathers have no sheen
 He's certainly not father material they'd scream."     

So poor Bob, though he preened, stretched his neck and each wing
The gals still ignored him, or worse they implored him,
"Give up your romancing - don't bother to sing."

"Stupid bird brains," thought Bob "flamingos honk, they don't sing
Your insults to me don't mean a thing.
I know I'm not clever but I'm smarter than you
What's more I can build the best nest in the zoo!"

So Bob began scooping and packing and gluing
Mud into a mound, one foot high, one foot round.
Then he scooped a small hollow right out of the top
Placed his feet, fluffed his feathers, and settled down with a plop. 

There he sat, and he waited, and waited all day
But hard as he tried, no egg could he lay.

The males shook their heads, the gals snorted and jeered
A zookeeper watching said, "Well, this is weird.
I pity that bird who sits on his own
I'll give him an egg, so he won't be alone."

"Bob"s laid an egg! How can this be?"
The flock gathered round and jostled to see.
"No problem," Bob honked," It was easy to do
 In fact the next time, I think I'll do two!"

Now here is the sad part - Bob's egg was a toy
And after a while, it began to annoy.
"This shell will not crack, not even a nick
I've been a good father, it must be the chick."

So Bob walked away and promptly forgot
But readers I beg you, do not be distraught.
One bird had been watching and she was a smart one
"That male is a keeper, he's one loyal dude.
Next year he can have me, if I'm in the mood."